How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
whose parrot is this?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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