just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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