We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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