OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
