I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize