Cold hands, warm shart.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
