I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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