Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
what day is it and did you see me today?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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