I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
you never un-have a 4some
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
