To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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