yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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