It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
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