its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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