He is an equal opportunity slut.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
