idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
where am i from again
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
