If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Im part way to drunk.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
