everyone is single if you try hard enough
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
