Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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