i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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