Soap is not a condiment
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
