I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
