I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Randomize
