Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
