i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
