Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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