we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Of course I have a pirate flag
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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