yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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