tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I wear drunk well.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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