I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
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