Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
