I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
