Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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