it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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