I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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