It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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