You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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