you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
