tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Is it because I queefed?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Randomize
