Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I think my vagina is haunted
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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