I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
