All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
