Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize