my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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