i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
