oh fat girl friday strikes again...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
