I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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