whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
