If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
