She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
