I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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