After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
