you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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