These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize