that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
