I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
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