Me. At least after what I've been through.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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