barbara walters just said penis...
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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