i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
