My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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