Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
