So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
