They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
