Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
