You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
What a dumb baby whore.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
