i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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