i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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