We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
