I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Holy shit dude........stairs
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize