my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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