That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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