Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
