I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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