Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize