I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
