she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
