He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
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