All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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