So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
