The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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