I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
