I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
