Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
