Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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