he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
