people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
