Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
